SPECIAL NOTE: This is Part 1 of a 5-part Series on Permission that is going to take us through the end of the year. I’m going LIVE with Permission Part 2 THIS WEEK, Tuesday, 11/5 at 6:00pm PT so mark your calendar!
You are worthy.
The conversation that we’re going to be engaging in through this permission series is all about worthiness. The conversation is all about a new level of liberation and love in the context of all of who you are and everything that you want to be creating in the world right now. I know who I’m talking to. You all are up to big things.
I have spent time encountering icons. Icons in terms of more than their social media following. Icons who are impacting their arenas of influence in our culture.
This conversation about permission is up. And I am on fire with it.
We all need permission.
- Know it or not
- Like it or not
- See it or not
- Own it or not
…you are always in some form of negotiation around whether or not you can be yourself, love yourself and answer your calling.
For some of us, we stay in the meta conversation of this. Meaning, we are in these big conversations about:
- What does it mean to be myself?
- What does it mean to love myself?
- What does it mean to answer my calling?
- What does it mean to fulfill my purpose?
This is the big, deep, philosophical consideration.
For others, it is moment by moment:
Am I going to be myself right now, or am I going to be whatever the environment can tolerate?
Am I going to honor myself in this interaction or am I going to do what everybody else expects me to do?
This conversation impacts whether you answer your calling and Calling.
Answering The Calling
That’s right, big c/little C:
Little “c” calling = Sometimes we get called in a particular moment, in a particular way.
Big “C” Calling = The conversation about what you are here to do and who you are here to be in the world.
Am I going to lean into where I’m being called or not?
Which of these conversations is for you?
Are you in the abstract and philosophical, contemplating your purpose and Calling?
Are you in the nit-grit, everyday, on-the-ground hustle of your calling?
Why Do We Need Permission?
There is so much conditioning and pressure to answer to what’s outside of you and what’s expected of you in any given environment. Sometimes, we are additionally conditioned to believe what we should expect from ourselves.
We are navigating the things that keep us:
This ingrown, unconscious need for the NOD and approval drives us. Whether we are conscious of it or not, it is everywhere.
I had a conversation with a person with collaboration potential. This person is up to a lot in the world and there is a lot of opportunity but something in my spirit wasn’t excited about the possibility. And that’s deep because I’m someone who’s always excited. I’m excited all day long about something. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was but I just didn’t feel the inclination to lean in. At some point in the conversation, I began going through the motions.
I watched myself performing conditioned agreement that has nothing to do with how I felt. In these moments, we may or may not even be listening… we may be checked out.
We have built this masterful, conditioned way of responding.
In other words, we know how to fake it.
There was a minute or two where I was actually faking it in this conversation. I’m vigilant about not being fake, so I stopped myself and questioned these responses. I agreed to follow up. I know in a typical conversation like this how I would respond. I could not bring myself to send the e-mail. I got the meditation about it, I got still about it and I knew there was something there. If I wasn’t running toward this, I needed to get clear. The spirit said: be still. Make room. There’s something else coming. Don’t lean into this. And I heard it CLEARLY. I wrote it in my journal. Something coming. Not this. I proceeded to text my husband. I interrupted his flow and what he was doing (and he’s out in the wilderness in a yurt at this point) and he gets on the phone to sort me out about this thing that I’m confused about. So, I’m in this conversation with him and I’m saying all of these things and explaining what I see. And so, he says “trust what you know.” Affirmation.
I get on the phone three hours later with my coach. Same response. Listen. I know like I know like I know what this is. Here I am, in the land of permission seeking.
I’m sharing that with you because even in working on this series, I’m in it. The subsconscious seeking of it in the context of my life.
I had three bold moves to make as a result of those conversations.
When you’re on the practice field, the balls keep coming. You better put your net up and you better put your mask on. You are on the field.
The spirit knows you know and so the spirit makes you practice until mastery.
So, this first permission is ground zero. This whole conversation about permission is really about the next level.
The next level of:
Permission is about being bold and unapologetic.
The Permission to Be Clear
This permission is about giving yourself room to get clear:
- Clear about who we are
- Clear about what we want
Be Clear About Who You Are
This is the permission to live into who you really are.
Who are you void of:
Void of all of the boxes we usually check to describe and identify ourselves. These are the false places we go for identity. This is asking the question:
Who are you in the center of your soul?
What’s present in the world or possible in the world simply by virtue of the fact that you are there?
That is the question that you are asking when you ask, “who are you?”
What is it that you journey through, experience and come to understand on a soul level that makes you uniquely qualified to be you?
Who You Are Permission Homework:
Take a moment and jot it down:
Who are you?
Name three qualities:
On a scale of 1-10, how expressed are you in all of the parts of you?
Rate the three qualities you listed.
Based on your average self-assessment, ask yourself:
- Does it shift in certain environments?
- Does it shift with certain people?
- Does it shift based on circumstances?
Take the qualities you listed and your self-assessment about expression to journal with these reflection questions.
What specific aspects of yourself do you feel are most unwelcome?
Which parts of you come off the table first?
There is an opportunity in this question to listen inside to what else may be there that you aren’t giving a voice to. I want you to see this and notice this: notice where permission is present for you and where permission is not present for you. Where is the opportunity for your next level of clarity?
So, now let’s turn to the conversation about permission around what you want.
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