Permission To Pursue Your Conviction by Rha Goddess
In Part 2, Permission To Be Convicted, we talked about living in your truth. We navigated the permission you give yourself to follow your principles and values. This discussion generated a lot of heat as many of you reflected back how important it is to feel free to follow your convictions. This is a huge part of pursuing your calling (more about that in my new book).
This conversation began as I kept encountering, over and over, people wondering: how can I live in a higher level of freedom? I realized that many amazing people aren’t giving themselves permission… and you need it.
As we continue this series, Click Here to watch the Part 3: Permission to Pursue Your Conviction FB Live Video. And read on for a summary and your homework.
I was at Kripalu last week hanging with all of my Spirit Junkies. These level two leaders are spiritual guides and have a high level of understanding. They also have a high level of conviction and I saw the temperature rise as we drew into that conversation. They have some amazing convictions: to stand in the gap for mothers, to reunite families, high and amazing visions for social justice. Some of them, though, said “I can’t find it” and were having trouble identifying their passion or conviction. To them, I said “what pisses you off?” You need to assess and find valuable information in what I call the “360 Degrees of Inspiration”: what makes you smile, what makes you grit your teeth, these are the things that will show you where your true passions lie.
When I said that to my team member she said, “was that about being in action, Rha?” It’s doing the thing. Whatever it takes to move forward. This permission is about the action that chooses your conviction.
Here come all the concerns:
What is so-and-so going to think?
Do I have everything I need?
Now, the questioning comes. We question our clarity and conviction because we are taking this out of the living room into the world.
This is the rubber meets the road permission.
Permission To Pursue
What happens for you when you hear me say this?
This can produce anxiety. You begin to question yourself: do I have enough experience, do I have enough education, do I know enough about the subject, can I do this, why would anybody listen to me? The list goes on and on and on and on in terms of the reasons you may feel justified in not pursuing your calling. These concerns show up like locks and stops.
I want you to start to look at:
Where are you pursuing?
Where are you not pursuing?
What are you telling yourself about why you are not pursuing what you say matters to you?
Whatever your concerns are, something at the core of it is: if we take actions, there will be repercussions. Whether it’s imperfect or flawed in some way, whether it feels vulnerable or threatening, do a gut check: is there a correlation between being in action and experiencing difficult or negative consequences as a result?
Permission Three Reflections:
Have this conversation with yourself. Do a self-assessment to determine the source of your fear, hesitation or reticence.
My teammate Calgary said, “I’m scared of the first draft version of myself. It’s going to be messy. I don’t want to put out messy.”
What does it mean if it’s messy? Ask yourself.
Check for perfectionism.
Check for false beliefs.
Check for fear.
What keeps you off the court?
What do you think the consequences will be?
Define it. Name it. Call it out.
Examples of lies you may believe: you only have one shot.
Now, move into a genuine analysis of the time you spend doing what you are really passionate about: what percent of the day are you engaging in actions that move your vision forward?
Fill the percentage in: _____
What percentage of those actions, though, are actual needle-movers and not just distraction actions?
Fill the percentage in: _____
How to Give Yourself Permission to Pursue
This is going to require a paradigm and behavioral shift.
You have to work to build the muscle to do the things that you know are most game-changing FIRST (every. single. day). At Move the Crowd, we talk a lot about high-leverage actions. In other words, are you getting maximum return your investment in whatever you are doing minute-over-minute, hour-over-hour, day-over-day?
I believe this permission to pursue is the crux of the matter.
When I say it’s the crux of the matter, I think it’s the difference between people who achieve and people who don’t.
People who give themselves this permission make it a practice to let what it is what they want to seek and find them. The minute you start seeking, it starts seeking you. People don’t realize that what you want wants you. We feel like there’s a way we have to prove ourselves or show ourselves as worthy to have the kind of success that we want.
Here’s the important part about permission: you don’t just have to give yourself permission once. You have to give yourself permission every day. And, truthfully, if you’re really awake at the wheel, you have to give yourself permission multiple times a day.
This permission to pursue as a practice becomes important because it’s where we develop the discipline and build the habit of leaning into what we say is important. Dare I say, it IS a habit we have to build. My experience, most people don’t come out of the box that way. We have things we talk about, dream about, that really matter to us but they get pushed to the bottom of the list. There are a lot of reasons why this happens and it’s very easy to be distracted.
Sometimes, your biggest enemy is distraction. Distraction is so easy. It will creep up on you.
You may have to break your goals down into micro-actions. I mean, make the action so small that it feels absolutely effortless for you.
I did this when I was writing my book:
Step 1: sit down in the chair in front of the laptop.
Step 2: put the laptop on.
Step 3: sit with the intention of writing.
Step 4: write one word.
Step 5: write two words.
Step 6: write a sentence.
Then, it would start to come and I would write.
When you are looking at those things you know you are stuck around, can you break it down to its micro level?
At the Center of Permission to Pursue
There is a core issue at the center of this permission and it is the permission to be vulnerable. As we go deeper into these permissions, the vulnerability factor is going to get bigger and bigger. But the permission to pursue means:
Giving yourself permission to look silly.
Giving yourself permission to be messy.
Giving yourself permission to step forward.
Giving yourself permission to carve time.
Giving yourself permission to let other people know that this is what you’re working on.
Sometimes you don’t have to talk about it, you just need to be about it. And people will see what you’re about.
The more you’re building the habit, the more you’re stopping your critical mind. This is about interrupting that pattern at whatever level you are.
Level one: get on the court.
Level two: is the action moving in the right direction?
Level three: do the action that is really moving the needle.
The critical mind can be retrained. It is incredibly clever. We have to work to create a different kind of dialogue that moves us out of the habit of stopping and into the habit of pursuing.
What is one thing you can say to yourself that would move you?
Your people are out there waiting for you to show up.
Homework for Permission to Pursue
What are the next three micro-actions you can take to move the needle?
Do one each day. Do them one at a time or line them up in threes.
Next, find a phrase that takes you out of a critical mind and brings you back in the game. What can you say that connects you to your purpose?
Schedule it. Set a reminder. Say it. Rehearse it.
Next up: Permission #4 will be going live on Tuesday, December 3rd. Follow me on FB to get in and get reminded about it. Be sure to subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss a thing.